How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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