Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
