We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
