Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
