May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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