when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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