Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
