Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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