I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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