i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
