Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
