im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
