direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
