So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
this will be a night to untag.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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