if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You're like the curious george of whores
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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