Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize