Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
handjob tips. give me some.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
