I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
