dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
