Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
