It's like God shit irony all over that family
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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