What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
