david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I didn't notice because vodka
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
