I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
