I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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