Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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