do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
