Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
