You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
