here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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