i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
