If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
