Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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