Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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