So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you win again, gameday.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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