I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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