I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
