Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
