He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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