Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
