Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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