How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
