Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
