should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
