As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
