I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
