the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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