well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
