saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
