i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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