Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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